Being asked to speak at a funeral is an honor. It means that the family values you. But because you're being trusted with something so important, it can also be intimidating. Take a deep breath — with a few helpful tips and a bit of care, you can craft a meaningful and life-honoring eulogy.  

  • Make notes so you don't ramble. The average eulogy should be about three to five minutes. Organize your thoughts ahead of time so you can stick to your planned points. 
  • Introduce yourself and explain your connection. At the beginning of the eulogy, it's good to remind those present of your name and your relationship with the person who has died. Keep this part brief.  
  • Include stories. As you're writing, talk to others who knew and loved the person who has died, gathering stories and ideas to paint a picture of his or her life.  
  • Keep it positive. A eulogy is not the place to bring up issues or problems or address familial squabbles. If there was something problematic about the person's life or death, it's not your job to talk about it. Instead, stick to remarks that will bring comfort to the family and honor the person who has died.  
  • Keep a conversational tone. Try to write a eulogy that will make those present feel like you're talking to them as you would to a friend. Once you've written down what you want to say, practice by delivering the eulogy to a friend or family member. Ask for feedback and be open to suggestions.  
  • Make sure it's in keeping with the loved one's personality. If the person who died was known for his or her sense of humor, it's appropriate to include humorous anecdotes in your eulogy. If the person had a very formal style, however, this may not be appropriate. Remember, the point of the eulogy is to honor the person who has died, so make sure that person's personality, preferences and passions take center stage.  

Valley of the Temples can help you get started on a eulogy for your loved one or plan a meaningful service. We're also happy to provide helpful information about preplanning. Call (808) 725-2798 for more details or visit our Plan Ahead page.